Unconditional Love

 

Unconditional love is a concept that means showing love towards someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in some religious texts to describe God’s love for mankind. Some secular authors make a distinction between unconditional love and conditional love. In conditional love: love is ‘earned’ on the basis of conscious or unconscious conditions being met by the lover, whereas in unconditional love, love is ‘given freely’ to the love one ‘no matter what’. Conditioning love requires some kind of finite exchange whereas unconditional love is seen as infinite and measureless. Unconditional love should not be mistaken with unconditional dedication: unconditional dedication refers to an act of the will irrespective of feelings (e.g a person may consider they have a duty to stay with a person); unconditional love is an act of the feelings irrespective of will. Author Harold W. Becker defines Unconditional Love as “an unlimited way of being.” From his book of the same title, Becker goes on to say that “the greatest power known to man is that of unconditional love. Through the ages, mystics, sages, singers and poets all expressed the ballad and call to love. As humans, we searched endlessly for the experience of love through the outer senses. Great civilizations have come and gone under the guise of love for their people. Religions have flourished and perished while claiming the true path to love. We, the people of this planet, may have missed the simplicity of unconditional love. …Simply stated, unconditional love is an unlimited way of being. We are without any limit to our thoughts and feelings in life and can create any reality we choose to focus our attention upon. The qualities of love are endless and the expressions are infinite. The power of unconditional love is within each of us.”

The Four Noble Truths

Four Noble Truths

1. Life means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment or desire

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

 

1. Life means suffering.

To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. During our lifetime, we inevitably have to endure physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury, tiredness, old age, and eventually death; and we have to endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and depression. Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence. This means we are never able to keep permanently what we strive for, and just as happy moments pass by, we ourselves and our loved ones will pass away one day, too.

2. The origin of suffering is attachment.

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas, and -in a greater sense- all objects of our perception. Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things. The reasons for suffering are desire, passion, ardour, pursuit of wealth and prestige, striving for fame and popularity, or in short: craving and clinging. Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow. Objects of attachment also include the idea of a “self” which is a delusion, because there is no abiding self. What we call “self” is just an imagined entity, and we are merely a part of the ceaseless becoming of the universe.

3. The cessation of suffering is attainable.

The cessation of suffering can be attained through nirodha. Nirodha means the unmaking of sensual craving and conceptual attachment. The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion. Nirodha extinguishes all forms of clinging and attachment. This means that suffering can be overcome through human activity, simply by removing the cause of suffering. Attaining and perfecting dispassion is a process of many levels that ultimately results in the state of Nirvana. Nirvana means freedom from all worries, troubles, complexes, fabrications and ideas. Nirvana is not comprehensible for those who have not attained it.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering.

There is a path to the end of suffering – a gradual path of self-improvement, which is described more detailed in the Eightfold Path. It is the middle way between the two extremes of excessive self-indulgence (hedonism) and excessive self-mortification (asceticism); and it leads to the end of the cycle of rebirth. The latter quality discerns it from other paths which are merely “wandering on the wheel of becoming”, because these do not have a final object. The path to the end of suffering can extend over many lifetimes, throughout which every individual rebirth is subject to karmic conditioning. Craving, ignorance, delusions, and its effects will disappear gradually, as progress is made on the path
**Courtesy of http://www.thebigview.com/buddhism/fourtruths.html

I used to hold on this idea of detachment when i learned of this in my religion course. At that time, i was doing bad in my studies and my grades were embarassing. however, i somehow come to detached myself from the bad grades i’d received and it created a buffering system where i’m shielded from hurt and disappointment.
Flash forward two years, i have totally forgotten about detaching myself grades. instead, i have attached my entire life for the grades i so desired to attain. i worked hard, i put in the long hours so i could do myself prove. little did i know my life at this point is simply getting good grades. i have forgotten why i was actually in school. the answer was simply to get a degree in case my dream of being a performer fails miserably..So i have encountered an ephiphany once again: Recognize what you really want and desire to do…..but somehow still detach from it all or else misery is

The Sheltering Sky : Paul Bowles

From Paul Bowles’ book, The Sheltering Sky:

“Because we do not know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you cannot conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless…”

i’ll only remember that one moment…..

Thank you .

 

Thank you

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INSPIRATION

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To those of you who have pushed me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have cried.

To those of you who just couldn’t love me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have discover myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn’t do it
It is you I thanked the most
Because without you I wouldn’t have tried!

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Thank you .

 

Thank you

---

INSPIRATION

---

To those of you who have pushed me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have cried.

To those of you who just couldn’t love me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have discover myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn’t do it
It is you I thanked the most
Because without you I wouldn’t have tried!

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Thank you .

 

Thank you

---

INSPIRATION

---

To those of you who have pushed me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have fallen.

To those of you who laughed at me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have cried.

To those of you who just couldn’t love me –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have known real love.

To those of you who hurt my feelings –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have felt them.

To those of you who left me lonely –
thank you.
Without you I wouldn’t have discover myself.

But it is to those of you who thought I couldn’t do it
It is you I thanked the most
Because without you I wouldn’t have tried!

~~ Author Unknown ~~

Time for an update….2011 December 13th….

Where to I begin……

The last two weeks has been an interesting ride. Interesting might be an understatement.  I thought I had overcame this mental block. Therefore, I would never have to go through that pain again. However. we are fragile, especially when your heart takes a beating. Your dreams seems to fade. Your future plans disrupted. Your future……uncertain.

I wish I knew where to begin but I think it all started with a cold. The cold never really left me. I was overwhelmed with a sense of chronic fatigued. I couldn’t stop yawning everyday at work. I was so sleep deprived. I can recalled the numerous times I would randomly wake up at at 2:30am. It’s been a set time in my circadian rhythm. I just wanted to sleep well. I wanted quality sleep. I had changed my beds numerous time. I was sleeping in my living room for a few months. I was sleeping beside the balcony for a few months. Nothing satisfied me. Then, last month I decided to move back into my tiny bedroom. Since then, it’s been worse than I imagined.

I arrived here in the Republic of Korea on March 29th. Months of anticipation and 2 years of hesitation has finally led me here. Why did I come here? To be completely honest….I had to get away from Toronto. I had to get away from my parents. I had to get away from my self-perceived identity in Toronto. I had no idea who I was anymore. I lost the will to be my happy self. I felt completely useless. I felt I had no skills or training. I had no inner strength. I have lost my voice. It was a culmination of everything. A bit of joy and melancholy mashed together. I was wide awake, but my world was half asleep.

It was time.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I had no idea how to teach English. I can’t speak Korean. I know how to speak English but I had no idea how to explain the theoretical or linguistic of the English language. English is very difficult. Fucking difficult. Why isn’t the spelling correspondent with the pronunciation? Why is “mother” not spelt “mather” if you actually have the “ma” sound. Questions ran through my head. There were answers but I didn’t bother. The only conclusion about English is this…it’s arbitrary and it’s a mixture of all ancient western languages (such as Latin/Greek) and other fancy ancient linguists combined to become what it is today. That’s all i have to say. I have nothing intellectual to say about teaching English or it’s origins.

I arrived here.

Side note: Korean Air is amazing. They got beds for babies and also baby food on board. I was very impressed by their attentiveness.

Identity: It occurred to me that everyone perceived me as being Korean. The flight attendant addressed me in Korean. I replied in English as though I understood her request and that I couldn’t reply in Korean.I felt weird. I felt as though I was ashamed that I couldn’t speak Korea because everyone assumed that I was one. It’s like the time when one of my classmate assumed that I was good at Statistic 101 because I was Asian. She befriended me. Shortly, when I didn’t delivered the results as she expected, she left me and said ” I thought you were good at math, but I’ll hang out with someone else”

Time: it was a direct 13 hour flight to Korea. I arrived here around 3:30pm. It was cold. I had to wait for my taxi cab to pick me up and transfer me to the motel where I will be staying for the night. I was told another male teacher was going to meet me at the hotel.

The hotel had three beds in this room. it was spacious. I noticed the sofa or bench. It was very Asian styled bench. The kind where it’s all hardwood and looks very ‘Asian’ or ‘Korean” to me. It’s aesthetically unpleasing to my sight. It had those Korean symbols embroidered on the back of the bench. It’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. It’s symbolized me at the moment. Hard, cold and stubborn yet lost.

I met up with this sweet lad named Christian. He was 21 and majored in Architect. He was so young and hopeful. I looked in his eyes. Whatever he’s got there, i wanted it to myself. I wanted the sparkle in those blue eyes. For my sparkle has been fading into oblivion. The only saving grace was my film. I was in a film I was actually in a freaking film!!

 

Wishing (U) well.

I walked to the train station hoping to catch you there.

I asked you if you liked what you see.

I smiled. You got me my train ticket.

“They say they built the train track over the Alps between Vienna and Venice before there was a train that could make the trip. They builit it anyways, cuz they knew one day the train would come”

In many ways, miracles happen. Miracles happens because you fought for it. Miracles happens because you matured spiritually, mentally and physically.

A college acquaintance asked me once, “Tommy, if there was no fear in your life, what would you do…….”

 

I would do everything……anything…..

Seoul, Kimchi, Love

How it is possible that someone out of the blue comes into your life. And somehow they take your breathe away, ambushed, attacked….by a warm tingly feeling inside. They say something stupid like “you’re amazing” and you start to feel the butterflies building up in your tummy……

Couraged by the Daily Motivator

Courage
Courage is doing what
you’re afraid to do.
There can be no courage
unless you’re scared.
— Eddie Rickenbacker

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is the ability to overcome fear and take action. Courage is the ability to feel the fear and do it anyway.

The best way to deal with fear is to confront it — to do the thing that you fear. More often than not, the fear is worse than the thing that is feared. And fear can make you very resourceful. It heightens the senses. It provides the energy you need to confront whatever it is you fear. When you decide to use your fear, rather than fear it, it becomes very useful.

Have the courage to ask what you want from life, and to take the actions that will bring it to you. Find a reason to act, that is greater than your fear. Realize that fear is natural and useful. Use the energy it provides to do what needs to be done.

— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://greatday.com/motivate/970314.html#ixzz1ePipsblh