The Paradoxical Theory of Change (PTC) : holds that personal change tends to occur when we become aware of what we are as opposed to trying to become what we are not (Beisser, 1970)
In essence, in order to become who you want to be, you must first accept who you are. Or in order to achieve growth (a personal, life-long venture), you must first recognize and accept just how you make adjustments (temporary and fickle environmental changes) in your life. It’s the theory that we can ultimately only change who we are once we accept that we are not perfect and accept how we are not perfect.
Well, I’ve long since realized that I am far from perfect but I’m stuck in that phase between realizing how I am not perfect and how I can change that. Really, the main problem I have is identifying those areas that are “quirks” and those that are “major flaws”; the difference between what I can change and what I shouldn’t.
Because sometimes “flaws” or “quirks” are deeply embedded into who you are as a person, it can become difficult to recognize and differentiate between those areas you need to work on and those areas that help uniquely make up you as an individual. To do this, you must first be prepared to look deeper into your thoughts and feelings than you are generally accustomed to and be ready to face any of those old demons that you may have burried away and tried to forget.